Its been 4 years since we said goodbye to my Mum Sally who died 2 days after Rick and I got married in Windsor. As a family we had one of the best most loving weekends of our lives. For it to end with my Mums demise was a bitter pill to swallow. Rick and I were called off our flight as we boarded to head off on our honeymoon. For me it cemented how random life can be and how there are no gods. However my Mum taught us many things and I share this Eulogy which we wrote and which I read out at her funeral. I share it here so that those who never met her may get some idea of how wonderful she was, and how she is still missed so terribly still.....today and till I meet my end..... x
Eulogy for Sally Lewis at her funeral Thursday 2nd Sept 2010
In a week our family went from the best of times to the worst of times. We have put these words together as a tribute. From the bottom of our hearts thank you to everyone for attending the funeral and Father for the kind words.
Our MUM, our SALLY
This women is our Mum, our family Matriarch
We are all desperately missing her already
This women had a wonderful relationship with all her children, her siblings, her extended families, and her many close friends, and of course her dog Diva
We have summarised some of the things our Mum has taught us over the years by living her life in dignity, goodness and kindness on a daily basis, living by example
She taught us how to accept others the way they were, today, by the way she was inclusive to everyone no matter where she was, blind to creed, race, manner or age, “she knew the crack”
But, she also taught us to be truly ourselves by standing our ground for what matters to us and not to blow in the wind of others opinions,
She taught us to see things as they are and not as you think they should be, by keeping her feet on the ground even in times of crises and confusion, as a result her wise counsel was sought by many of us over the years
But, she also taught us how to dance, how to party and how to have a good time, she knew how to work a room full of potential lifelong friends, like a queen bee bouncing from flower to flower, these were the times she was happiest, and her 70th was her finest hour
She also taught us how to be alone, to enjoy your own company reading a good book like Agatha Christies, God Forbid that anyone ring her on an afternoon when Murder She Wrote was on the TV, or Coronation Street!
But, most of all this wonderful, caring, generous and kind lady of ladies taught us how to love, and how spectacularly did she love us all, unconditionally, without favour, expansively, so all got a share, got her undivided attention when we needed it the most, she knew our hearts and talked to our core being despite the exterior shell we present
However, she could still cut you to the bone with a couple of words if you were unkind or rude!
She taught us all to have a love of nature and in particular of Limavady – she loved sitting outside the Oven Door in the smokers corner drinking her Mocha, she loved the enchanted O Cahan’s Rock walking Diva her loyal dog, that other classy lady, she loved Binevenagh, the Giants Causeway, Benone, the Point, and the Fort, she was from the earth of Glack and her favourite saying was ‘never forget the bowl yer baked in’, how could we ever?
And how magnificently did she love our Dad, the only man she ever wanted, their’s was a love match for the whole of both their lives
I would like to share a poem wrote after our Dad’s death which our Mum cherished and it is apt we read this out today in honour of both of them Our Dad, and, Our Mum, your sister, your gran, your friend,
Poem – The Hardest Path
The hardest path of grief
Disorders our thoughts and feelings
Which hurt the emotions so sore
Giving no relief
The worst is the disbelief
For, getting the guilt that comes
because forgetting is the only release
but thudded remembrance reshocks
The living guilt begs questions why
forget remembering cause sore hurts cry
The if onlys, could ofs and our mights
reality glimpsed within our sights
To disappear in a flood of tears.
To see the others you love
sorrowed by the one above
This disbelief none can accept
emotions torn down and thoroughly swept
Await the time to forget
The guilt returns full circle set.
Recursive and relentless
All thoughts spin round
the disbelief and sense of loss
with self pity all will forget
But never far away.
C Antz Lewis Sept 1987
The best legacy everyone here today can give our Mum is to live their lives as our Mum lived hers, never regretting the past, or fearful for the future, but in the present moment, and in that way honouring her memory, by celebrating and living a generous and loving life, with grace and self respect
A formidable intelligent women, the most wonderful dignified lady we will ever know, who we will all miss most terribly
Our Mum, your Sally